Hey everyone!  I know you all have been dying to see pictures of my new little boy... Well here is my webshots link!  I hope you all enjoy them!
http://community.webshots.com/user/perfectnavywife
Leave me some love!
Jess

I will be updating the pictures as often as I can!  Well whenever I take some new ones!  Oh and I will write a new blog soon!  I just wanted everyone to be able to look at the new pictures!  Well I am out of here!  Bye Ya'll

Thanksgiving is my favorite time of the year.  I love all the smells of the awesome food and just being able to realize what I have and what I can be thankful for.  James and I went to Roanoke, and well as I have to say I was a bit annoyed by somethings that happened overall it was a good Thanksgiving.  We have this tradition, we put numbers in a cup and the cup goes around the table.  Everyone takes one number and then we go around the table in the order of numbers.  You have to say one thing you are thankful for, but you can't repeat something someone else already said!  I was lucky I got 3...  HAHA!  Normally I always get 1, but this year I didn't do the numbers...  My sister did, and she got number 1.  Anyways, I didn't have to think to hard about what I was thankful for, because I am so grateful for my wonderful husband and adorable little boy.  Holidays are normally hard for me.  I have the hardest time understanding why I should be thankful for anything, when my little girl isn't here with me.  But this year I realized so much.  I realized that Emma thought me to be who I am today, she made me strong and she helped me realize that you should love and care for everyone.  You should cherish every moment because you never know when that last moment will be here!  So what I am most thankful for this year is that my daughter taught me so many things, and that she is no longer in pain.  I am thankful for my husband, who makes sure I am taken care of.  I thankful that he loves me inspite all of my flaws, and that he shows me that affection everyday!  I am thankful for my new little boy, Ethan is just so precious.  It is so amazing to think that he is a part of me and James.  I am thankful that he is a good baby.  AND I am thankful for my new family.  When I married James, I got the best family.  My in-laws are great, and so full of life and love.  Its great to know that they are there no matter what!  So I have a lot to be thankful for.  As Christmas is just around the corner, I wonder what it will be like.  I hope not a normal one.  But of course I will be in Texas so it will be one from my childhood!  I can't wait to relive those memories, and I can't wait to share them with Ethan and James!  Anyways, I need to go...  Ethan needs to get dressed and James and I need to pack the car up so we can leave the noke!  But everyone have a good day, and I will write again soon, when I can!  Bye all, and I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.  Realize what you have and then realize what others around you don't have.  Be grateful!  That's what this season of holiday is all about!

Jess

Well all...  I haven't written in a few weeks, I think...  Its been a very crazy few days.  As you know I was scheduled for my inducton on friday...  WELL...  It didn't quite happen the way it was suppose to go.  A bad experienced turned good...

On thursday I was suppose to go to the hospital and have my cervidill put in, and then I was suppose to be given potossin on friday morning so I could be in labor!!!   Well on thursday they didn't have enough nurses to staff the floor...  UM yeah I was a bit pissed off!  So they said call tomorrow.  Well I didn't settle for that!  I called my doctor and I was like look I am in pain, and I was counting on this.  I told her I hadn't been sleeping, and that I didn't have anymore medication to make me sleep, and I asked her what do I do.  Well she in turn called the hospital.  She didn't like the fact that they had pushed me to the side.  They told her there was no way I could come in, so she calle dme back and gave me the bad news...  And said call at 5 tomorrow morning, and see what they say then.  So I did just that.  James set the alarm clock and I called at 5 on friday...  They then in turn said they didn't have ANY beds...  So a hospital that didn't have enough nurses turned around and had plenty to give care to 30 patients?  HMMM???  I was pissed off again.  I called the doctor, and she then told me to just go.  Tell then I was in pain and maybe they would keep me.  She agreed with me that there was something fishy about the situation...  James and I got up and left for the hospital at about 6, and when we got there they were kinda mad that I had come up there.  They put me in a room for 2 hours and screened me, and then turned around and dischagred me.  I was so mad at this time.  I then spoke with my doctor again and she said she would see what she could do, she told me to keep calling every hour, eventually they would have a bed for me.  So I did just that.  I went home and called and called and called.  I still got no response.  I still got well we will call you when there is something available.  Like it was a damn hotel or something.  Well my mother in law was about pissed as well.  I mean her and my father in law had driven 12 hours to be here for this, and they were playing games with me.  So she called the hospital patient advocate and then she spoke with the nurse manager on duty!  All I have to say is haha...  After all that people where in trouble and we weren't going to settle for anything less then me getting induced before sunday.  Well They finally said call at 8 and we will make sure there is something available.  So I did just that.  I was counting down the seconds literally.  But at 8 I called and they told me to come in at 10.  So I did!  I was so happy.  The ball was finally rolling!  We got there at about 10 til 10 and they had all my stuff ready when I walked into admission.  It was nice let me tell ya!  So okay I got settled in, they hooked up my iv and inserted my cervidill and gave me some sleeping medication!  I was out.  My nurse came into my room the next morning at 6 and woke me up.  She took the cervidill out and told me that they would start the potossin in about 45 minutes.  So I went to the bathroom for the last time as a pregnant woman and I put on my make-up, did my hair and made sure I was ready to go!  I honestly thought that my labor and delivery would be shorter then the time with Emma...  But I was mistaken!  They started the potossin at 7 and I delt with the contractions until about 11.  At that point I was dialated to 4 and was in a bit of pain...  So!  I got my epideral!  Oh my goodness was that nice.  I have to say this time was better then the time before.  I wasn't completely numb, I could still feel a little bit.  Which was nice!  Well at 3 they broke my water, and let me tell ya that was like a damn had broke...  James kept calling me "Hover" the rest of the time there.  HAHA!  My doctor came in about an hour later and checked me...  She informed me if I didn't change in the next 2 hours I would be going to the or and getting a c-section.  My face drained of color.  I was scared.  This is the one thing I wasn't ready for.  I know some of my friends have had them and say they aren't bad, but I was still scared.  I wasn't perpared for that.  Well luckly at about 5-5:15 they came in and checked me for the last time...  Yeah, that's right!  They checked me and said get ready it's time to have a baby...  James then called his parents to come back.  They had left to go get some food.  And so they hurried back.  And at 5:37 little Ethan James was born, with a head full of hair.  I only had to push twice, and the next best part was that I DID NOT have to have an episodimy...  HELL YEAH!  No stitches.  Yeah I am still very excited about that.  The labor and deliverly part were not bad at all.  Actually, I would do them both again in a heart beat.  The only part I wouldn't do over again is the fact that the nursing staff sucks.  I would so pick new nurses...  The were horrible to me, I mean I started to have really bad pains later that night and James had gone to get my nurse, and she came back with another nurse and they both told me to act my age...  I was in tears and screaming because the pain was that intense.  How can you act your age when you are pain like that.  Then they pulled me out of bed, while I still had sea legs, I mean really my epideral had not worn off yet and I couldn't walk.  They had also given me a nauses medicine because I was kind of sick after and I was having trouble eating...  So I was completely druged.  So anyways they drrug me into the bathroom made me pee and then take a HOT shower...  Who knows what a HOT shower does to someone when they are pumped with meds?  It makes it worse.  Anyways after that my nurse left for the night which I was greatful for I have to say!  The next day I got to go home, which I was more excited about, hospital beds are nothing like my bed at home...  There isn't the pillow top, or the nice warm blankets...  Really you pay so much to be there and they don't even have a nice bed for you to sleep in...  HAHA!  Okay so I am really not trying to complain, I am just very upset at how I was treated!  But who wouldn't be.  Anyways when we got home James and I relaxed for a little bit, and then he went to bed.  I stayed up pretty much all night because I was breast feeding and as ya know those little guys eat a lot and they do it often!!!  But he is a good eater I mean I could probably go to sleep while he is eating because he burps on his own and he was latching on, on his own.  As monday rolled around, Ethan had his first doctors appointment, they have to check jaundice in a certain amount of time.  So we did that, and of course she said he was healthy but he needed to gain a little weight.  I guess he had losT a little more than he was suppose to when he went home.  After the doctors appointment, James, Ethan and I left for the noke.  Which is where we are now.  We are here for thanksgiving, I wasn't about to cook after my weekend, I thought I would let someone else do it!  HEHE!  But since we have been here he has stopped breast feeding and he has gone to the bottle.  I kind of wish he was still breast feeding, but I am pumping so I guess it does the same thing...  I don't care how he gets his food I just want to know he is getting it.  But I am having to supliment with formula because I am not making enough, which I don't understand.  Maybe its because my milk just came in...  But who knows.  All that matters is that he is getting the right amount of food and nutrines!  That is what is important.  But he is doing very well, I just still can't believe that he is here!  I mean nine months ago, I didn't think I would be having a baby.  But I did!  I am so happy, I really do have the family I have always wanted!  You should see us we are the perfect little Ruggles crew!  But anyways Ethan James was born on Novemeber 19th, at 5:37.  He weighed 7 lbs, 4 ozs and he was 20 inches long.  He looks just like James but with my nose!  And I can already see he is going to be a fast learner.  He is already trying to hold his head up, it is so cute!  Anyways I think I am done with my update!  James and I are doing great!  Ajusting very well to everything and James is loving being a dad!  I will post pictures soon and put the link in a blog so you can see my little guy!  I hope everyone has an awesome Thanksgiving...  I know I greatful for my year and everything it has brought me.  I will write when I can!  Being a new mommy and all I have to give my little guy all my attention!  So don't be to upset if I don't update you on my day to day life as often!  Talk to you all soon!  Stay safe!

Jess

Its 4 in the morning, and I just got out of the bath…  As I sat in there trying to think of things to get my mind off of the pain of this pregnancy, I thought of how my life is so different from last year.  I thought about how just a year ago my life was headed in a different direction.  My life last year wasn’t where it is today, I wasn’t even thinking of the things I think about today.  This time last year I was all about partying, I was into drinking and not really caring to much about school or money!  This time last year I wasn’t thinking about marriage or having another child, I was just trying to live life to the fullest.  This time last year I was dating someone who I didn’t love, someone whom I didn’t trust, and someone whom I felt sorry for.  Yeah I cared for that person, but our relationship was built on the foundation of lust, not love.  As I look back on my life I see that I have never loved, I didn’t know what love was.  The guys I said “I love you” to, well it wasn’t love…  It was some sort of lust or infatuation.  This time last year I was lying to that person I was with just to make him happy, I wasn’t allowed to be myself.  Its funny how you look back and you wish you could erase things from your past.  It has almost been 3 years since my little girl passed away, and as she has watched down on me I am not sure I have made her proud.  The secrets of my life that I have held within and the people I have let down and hurt.  That person I was with this time last year was my crutch.  He was what I had since my little Emma had left me.  This time last year I was ready to let go and be myself.  I can remember my friend Lindsey and I driving all over Roanoke in her little cavalier…  I can remember the times where we got drunk off our asses and made complete fools of ourselves.  I can remember the endless nights of lying to people and doing things we knew would displease them.  This time last year we would take endless trips to UT, where we would party it up, in an all guys dorm!  The endless nights where I would be drinking ‘Ice 101’ and she would be cleaning up my mess…  this time last year I was interested in spending money like crazy, and getting my hair and nails done all the time!  I wasn’t into paying bills or having a family.  I wasn’t into a serious relationship…  I wasn’t thinking of the life I would lead when I became more mature.  I was thinking of how much liquor I could consume!  I was trying to drink like the guys…  I can remember one night when Lindsey and I where sitting at my computer talking to random people, we saw this site called hotornot.com we decided it looked fun!  We made a bet to see who could get the best votes or ratings; we wanted to see how many lame guys would think we where hot…  HAHA!  No joke, I am not lying about this!  It was one of our boring attempts at some sort of fun in the small city of Roanoke.  As January and February rolled around we where pretty bored of the site we had already reached the ratings we wanted…  It wasn’t fun anymore!  This time last year we had made new friends and we had more time to spend with them!  As this time last year I wasn’t in a relationship so I was free.  I felt relieved I didn’t have to lie about who I was with or what I was doing.  I wasn’t being controlled anymore.  In February I had met this guy and had talked to him a few times, I never thought anything would ever come out of it.  But it did!  On February 18^th I met this amazing man.  This man with whom I had nothing in common with, this man who I thought would just be another really good guy friend!  But I was wrong.  This man I met became my boyfriend after a day of actually meeting him…  James and I had talked on the phone for about a week prior to him asking me to spontaneously going to New York with him…  When I had said I would go with him, I was just looking forward to a weekend away, and to get to know some new people.  I was shocked at myself when I had told James that I would go with him, I had no idea who he was or what he was about.  I didn’t care at that point, I just needed some time away…  That guy who I had previously been with had come to me on Valentines Day and asked me to marry him…  I guess there wasn’t a big enough hint that I didn’t want to be with him anymore, when we broke things off before thanksgiving!  But I was excited to get away.  Roanoke is drama, and that’s all!  The people there like to gossip and when you are there you get sucked into it…   So as the 18^th of February came and I got into James red ford f-150 I thought to myself wow, it’s a good thing I am not into this guy!  HAHA!  I wasn’t attracted to him.  So it was nice!  I felt at ease about the situation.  This was the most spontaneous thing I have ever done in my life, I swear.  I know you are reading this and you are like omg… Yeah not too many people really know the story of James and I, BUT that’s only because people would think we where completely crazy.  This wouldn’t be entirely wrong…  So as James and I made the 9 hour trip up to his home town we talked about the littlest stupidest things, and it’s when I was driving his truck I knew, that it would be only a matter of time before we became something.  Like I said I had no intentions of meeting him and falling for him, I wasn’t attracted to his looks, he wasn’t my type of guy.  And the music he listen to, lets just say um yeah not mine…  but I remember how loose I felt.  How much I felt at ease with him…  We had finally got to his parents house at 10:30 the next morning.  And after we had been driving all night long I was so ready to hit the bed.  We stayed up and talked to his parents for a while, and I can remember the first time I spoke with his mom; she really is the sweetest lady ever!  Her calmness, and the way she carries herself, it’s very much at home.  As James went down to his room to sleep, I sat and talked with his mom.  I had to go down and get the keys so I could get my stuff, so I could sleep in his sister’s room.  That was the plan…  I think he had a hidden agenda!  As I laid next to him we talked about more b.s. stuff, and then he leaned in and kissed me!  I had never been kissed like that.  The way his chapped lips touched mine, and the way his hands touched the side of my face; felt like the best kiss in the world…  I felt at peace.  The next thing I know is he is asking me to be his girlfriend, and not in this mature adult kind of way, but this way a jr high boy would ask a jr high girl.  It was so cute!   I wasn’t sure how our relationship would work with him in VA Beach and I in Roanoke, but I was sure we would manage.  I guess when they say opposites attract they where right!  As the weekend progressed, things only got better.  I got along with his family, and from what his mom said later she knew I was the one for him.  At that time I wasn’t thinking about anything with this guy except a relationship, I wasn’t sure if it would even last because I am not a distance person!  But 8 months later, I know I found him.  The one!  The man I am to spend the rest of my life with.  As the weekend got better and better, I had noticed that this guy was going to treat me better than any of the others I had been with.  When he took me home, I knew he was it…  But I also knew I needed to guard my heart, I needed to be careful.  I knew my life had changed and not for the worst but for the better.  As he took me home I thought of so many different things.  And of course the one thing I was worried about I didn’t need to be worried about!  The next week we talked for hours on the phone, we discussed me moving there and not even 3 days later he was there to get me!  He had driven all night after work to pick me up and to get all my crap.  He was there to take me and make me his.  Now remember this was about a week of knowing one another!  So I moved in with him and his roommate Josh at the time.  Lindsey and I became distant.  She was angry with me and the decisions I had made.  She had thought of them to be stupid and as if I had not thought of anything but the present moment…  But I had.  I was ready for whatever had been thrown at me.  As the next few weeks made us happier than the ones before we had said our “I love you's” and I can remember it like it was yesterday; we where sitting in the parking lot to the food lion and we had just gone and looked at apartments, we both looked at each other and said “I love you” at the exact same time.  Who does that?  I knew he was it, I knew it was just a matter of time before we where to get engaged…  The next week he got me this puppy, now that’s true love!  HAHA!   Our first big thing together…  The following week he asked me to marry him.  It was the best proposal a girl could ask for!  No bells and whistles just simple and to the point!  Not more than 2 weeks later where we married at the jp in VA Beach!  As we are planning the real wedding for September 2^nd of 2006; we can’t imagine a life without the other one.  Like I said before this time last year I wasn’t worried about managing my bank account or paying bills, I wasn’t worried if the car payments would be paid on time, or if we had enough food in the house.  I was worried about my material things!  This time last year I thought it would be years before I got married, I figured I would play the “man field” for a while.  Now I am married to the greatest man there is and I am having another child.  And to be honest I think I have made Emma proud!  I feel complete.  I feel whole.  So as I sit here and I watch him sleep, I can only think of all the good things that are going to happen in our future! 

I have been at this for a good hour now and I probably should get some sleep…  but as I have sat here and reflected on my life and what I thought it would and wouldn’t be like I am amazed, happy and most of all in love!   Goodnight all!  Reflect on your life and see where you thought you where going to be, I bet it isn’t what it is now.

Jess

Hey all!  Tonight was crazy...  But first off I want to thank Rachel and Abbye! 
*Rachel- I don't know what I would have done without you to be there to take me to the hospital!  I love ya girl!  You are the best!  I honestly don't know what I would have done without you as my friend!!!  I am so thankful I have a person like you in my life...*
*Abbye- Thank you so much for taking care of baby Cash...  I know he isn't mine but if you weren't there for me tonight I don't know what I would have done!  And I also want to say thank you for always sending me words of encouragement!!!  You are so sweet!*
*I know I can always count on you two for anything!  So thank you both for everything you have done for me so far!  And I hope I can return the fave to you girls someday soon!  I love you both!  I am so happy I have two very special people in my life like you girls!*

So tonight I went to the hospital...  After thinking I was in labor this afternoon, my friend Rachel came and took me to the hospital!  I was having some really bad back pains, almost like back labor.  And of course I was having comtractions...  I was so freaking scared!  But lucky it was nothing, well nothing so far!  I am pretty much on bed rest until tuesday when I go to see my OBGYN.  Rachel is going to come over and help me out so that way I dont' get stresses out or upset by anything!  As Rachel was bringing me home we talked about what could have offset this...  And of course we both came to the same agreement.  It had to be the stress I have been put under lately...  But oh well!  I won't be doing that anymore!  People can screw up their own lives!  I mean I still care about my friends and all but this drama crap that has been happening...  AND me getting upset because some people don't have hearts and say things that are way harsh, is not what has been part of my life for the past nine months!  So I am done.  But anyways on a better note!  While I was at the hospital, guess who called...  JAMES!!!!  I was so excited!  After not talking to him on the phone since he left last friday, he called me!  He actually was able to get to a phone!  I was so happy!  I cried after we hung up because I got to hear his voice.  I realized how much I missed him, and how much I depend on him for the littlest things!  We got to talk for 20 minutes and then he got to go!  But I was so grateful for those 20 minutes!  I will treasure them until he gets back!  Which there is more good news! 
HE COMES HOME ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!
I am more than just excited...  I can't wait to see him at the airport!  I mean I have gotten bigger since he left and I am going to tackle him when he gets off that plane!  I am going to give him the biggest hug I have ever given him...  I might smoother him!  HAHA!  But anyways I should go!  I just wanted to share my excited news with everyone!  And my crazy night...  I will try and write more tomorrow but I have a lot to do, and I am not suppose to stress myself out so we shall see!  Bye all and have a good night!

*James- You are my everything!  And I can't wait till I can be in your arms again.  I can't wait to kiss those sweet, soft and amazing lips of yours!  And of course I can't wait till you can hold me in your arms!  You are so speical to me, and I thank God for you every morning when I wake up and every night before I close my eyes!  I love you and I am so glad I am yours for the rest of my life!*

Night all, Sweet dreams!
Jess